I struggle with how honest to be here.  Is this my online journal?  Or is it more of an outlet for getting the word out about our ministry efforts here?  If missionaries talk about struggles, does that shoot their credibility in the foot?

The last few months have been hard.  I’ve kinda come to grips with the fact that I’ve been struggling with a low-grade depression for some time now.  Relationships and community are a minefield, and I keep stepping wrong.  I told someone a while back that I felt like my whole life was on training wheels.  Some days it really feels like that.

I spoke with a good friend from the States just a few days ago, and he kinda spanked me (in a good way).  Said he’d been struck recently when reading Phillipians where Paul talks about “learning” to be content without regard to circumstances.  The thing that stood out was that he spoke of knowing what it was like to have much, and knowing what it was like to have little, and that through it all he’d “learned” to be content.  This wasn’t something that he knew just cuz he was a believer now, and zen had taken up residence in his soul.  This was something that came about via process.

Here’s what I know:  I know I’m supposed to be here.  I know that God said “go,” and we went.  I know that God promises not to change anything in my life unless it’s for my good.  I also know that “good” doesn’t always equal “fun.”  My buddy said that it’s altogether possible that God’s going to be faithful enough to see to it that my life doesn’t get any easier any time soon.  (By the way, if anyone ever ‘fesses up to being depressed to you, this might not be the best way to respond.)  However, it musta been one of those “right time” kinda things.  It really snapped me out of it a bit.  Life in the trenches is easier when you know there’s a purpose.  I think I’d kinda started to lose sight of that.

I’m not feelin’ any happier, really.  Then again, I’m not sure God promises “happy.”  I think what I’m starting to feel is “content” … maybe.

In way of an update, there’s 13 days of school left and things are absolutely insane.   I’m understanding, for the first time, just why it is that teachers merit two months off every year.  I’m doing posters, programs, bulletins, diplomas, certificates, and the like.  Pretty much everybody at school wants a piece of the graphic designer right now.  Remember the kid who was ignoring my deadlines in yearbook class?  Well, he’s still ignoring deadlines.  I’m not sure what’s going to happen.  We had the yearbook staff over to our place the other night for a year-end party, and he attended and seemed friendly.  We’ll see if we’re still friends after I give him a D- for the year.  Peer Helpers is done for this year, and Rachel and I are already looking to what it will look like next year when we’ll be running it.  Our hope is to keep it on a night of the week that will allow both the students and us to be involved in other student outreach opportunities.  One that I’m really excited about jumping into is a group of students that works with Quito’s homeless street kids.  We’ve been figuring out what our responsibilities look like, and haven’t really availed ourselves of other opportunities yet.  Next year is going to be a whole different ballgame, when Rachel is counseling department head, and I’m actually teaching full-time (instead of subbing/designing/teaching).  We’ll not likely have tons more time, but our time will be a bit more predictable … I hope.

… and the tension in the air is almost palpable! Students are trying to catch up and finish class projects, plus regular homework, and prepare for finals. The seniors have senior-itis and so do some of the staff! Everyone is looking forward to summer vacation and some time away from school.

The elementary classes, especially the younger ones, often use Bible stories and Bible verses during their reading classes. I am thrilled to say that 5 of the first graders made a profession of faith last month! One of them even went home and told his parents how he knew that God loved him and was watching over him! His mother has told me how much she and her son love this school, and how she values the Christian teachings that her son is receiving here. It is so wonderful to see God working, through the children, to bring the parents closer to Him.

With graduation fast approaching, Rick and I are preparing for the inevitable barrage of emotions that comes with saying, “Goodbye” to the seniors, while also feeling great pride and excitement for them as they head off to new places, new experiences, and new adventures. Some of them still have family here, and will come back to visit. Some of them we will probably never see again. Graduation here is bittersweet.

Please pray for us as we plan our summer schedule. We will have company for a large part of the summer, so please pray for safe travel for them. Dan Audley will be here for 12 days during the end of June thru the beginning of July. Rick’s sister (Gwenda) and her family will be here in July, and Rick’s parents will also be here in Jul. They will overlap for about 5 days, which will be a lot of fun. Good thing Ecuadorian apartments come with a lot of bathrooms!

To those of you that have volunteered to help us financially, I want to express great thanks! To those of you who continually keep us in your prayers, I want you to know that they are working! Thank you to all of our supporters and friends. You love and kindness is much needed. We know that God has sent us here, and we love the work that we are doing… even so, we are truly far from home.

I just counted, and we’ve got 26 days of school left to go.  I’m having real problems with having checked out already.  I think I’m really anxious to be on my own in my department, and that won’t really happen until the beginning of next year.  The guy who’s place I’ll be taking, Dave Tieszen, will be heading back to the U.S. about a week after school’s out.  I still have a ton of stuff to learn from him, but I’m starting to feel like I’m really going to enjoy it. I love workin’ with the kids.   I’ve really already developed relationships with several of the seniors that’s going to make it really hard come graduation.

I’ve had a little drama this week.  One of the seniors is failing the yearbook class at mid-quarter, and I had to send out progress reports to the parents indicating such.  It really wasn’t fun, but he left me no options.  So he’s mad at me, and I’m feelin’ like a heel cuz I don’t wanna be “that guy.”  I really think that we can raise the grade significantly by the end of the quarter, but it’s not likely he’s going to pull an A in the class.  The kid’s been a challenge for me.  He’s a bit of a smart-alec, and has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, and is a bit (read “a lot”) like me at his age.  I caught him doing calculus homework in my class one day, and when I asked him why he was doing so, he told me “Because I care more about my calculus grade than I do this class.”  (I did ask, I guess.)  That was frustrating, but it still tore me up when he came by my classroom after school today, having just received his progress reports.  The look in his eyes made me want to hug him and then let him punch me really hard.

Anyhow, school’s about done for the year, and that means that we’ll soon be in a season of many wonderful visits from home.  Our good friend from K.C, Dan Audley, is coming for about 12 days almost as soon as school is done.  Then my sis and her family will show up in early July, followed four days later by my parents.  They’ll overlap about 4 days, and will be here about 9 days each.  It’s going to be a very busy time, chock-full of much happiness and fun.   We’ve still got some slots open in late July and early August, so make yer reservations!  Skip … Shawn … I’m talkin’ to you.  (Well, not together … that would just be awkward.)

Rachel and I had a four-day weekend the last four days, so we decided to take the opportunity to travel a bit.  Baños is about three hours south of Quito, costs about $3.50 to get there on the bus, and hostels cost about $15 a person, so we decided it was worth it.  We went with Josh and Joy Greer.  It was a blast.  Baños is kinda the “Estes Park” of the Andes, beautiful mountains and waterfalls, lots of outdoor activities (horseback riding, four-wheelers, mountain bikes, hiking tails, etc.)  I tried cuy/guinea pig for the first time.  It was forgettable.  The trip was great, though.  Here’s some pictures.